I couldn’t help but wonder: When did we start believing that the highest bid always wins?
Sarah learned this lesson the hard way. At 28, she’d saved $15,000—which everyone told her wasn’t enough. She needed $80,000, they said. Twenty percent down. That’s just how it works.
So she kept renting. Kept watching home prices climb. Kept calculating: Six more years until she could afford to buy.
Then she found her dream home. Made an offer $15,000 over asking. Waived the inspection. Added an escalation clause.
And lost to a cash buyer who paid $20,000 less than her final bid.
That’s when Sarah stopped playing by everyone else’s rules.
The First Bid War (The Loss)
The house was perfect. Listed at $385,000 in the Boston suburbs. Two bedrooms, move-in ready, walkable neighborhood. Sarah could see herself there—morning coffee on that back deck, her bookshelf against that wall, hosting Thanksgiving in that kitchen.
Her agent’s advice was standard: “This will have multiple offers. You need to come in strong.”
So Sarah did what she thought you’re supposed to do:
Offered $400,000 (over asking)
Waived inspection (to look more attractive)
Added an escalation clause to $410,000 (to beat other offers)
She lost to a cash buyer at $380,000.
Let me say that again: Sarah offered $30,000 more than the winning bid. And still lost.
“I did everything right,” she told me later. “I followed all the advice. I offered MORE money. How did I lose?”
Because she competed on price. And price isn’t always what sellers care about most.
That’s when Sarah found my newsletter. That’s when she learned The PREP Framework™. And three weeks later, she bought an even better house—for less money than she thought possible.
The Second House (The Win)
The next listing was similar. Same neighborhood. Listed at $395,000. Sarah actually liked it better than the first house—better natural light, newer kitchen, bigger yard.
Her agent said: “There are already four offers. You’ll need to go high again.”
Sarah said: “No. This time I’m competing on terms.”
Here’s exactly what she did.
POSITION: She Assessed Her Leverage
Most first-time buyers think they have no leverage. Sarah used to think this too.
But after losing that first bid, she realized something: Leverage isn’t about who has the most money. It’s about understanding what the other side actually needs.
Sarah’s advantages:
Pre-approved for a mortgage (certainty for the seller)
Flexible move-in date (could accommodate seller’s timeline)
First-time buyer programs available (she’d researched this)
No home to sell (simpler, faster transaction)
Willing to write a personal letter (connection matters)
Sarah’s challenges:
Only 3.5% down payment available (FHA loan)
Competing against likely higher offers
Needed seller help with closing costs
Her realization: “I can’t compete on price. But I can compete on certainty, flexibility, and terms that actually benefit the seller.”
This shift in thinking changed everything.
RESEARCH: She Did Her Homework
Sarah spent two days researching. Not just the house—the situation.
1. The Sellers’ Situation:
She learned that the sellers were an elderly couple downsizing to a condo. They’d raised their kids in this house. But here’s what she discovered through her agent: They were stressed about timing.
They hadn’t found their next place yet. The condo market was tight, and they kept getting outbid. But they needed to sell to afford the condo. They were caught in a timing trap.
The listing agent let it slip during a conversation: “They’re stressed about coordinating everything. They need at least 60 days to close so they have time to find their condo.”
Sarah heard what other buyers didn’t: The sellers’ biggest problem wasn’t getting the highest price. It was having enough time to coordinate their move.
2. Market Comparables:
Recent sales in the neighborhood: $390,000-$405,000 for similar homes. Average list-to-sale ratio: 101% (homes selling just above list price).
Sarah’s planned offer: $398,000. Competitive, but not the highest.
3. First-Time Buyer Programs:
Massachusetts offers down payment assistance through multiple programs. Sarah discovered this through Down Payment Resource, a database tracking over 2,300 homebuyer assistance programs nationwide—grants, forgivable loans, and financial aid from state housing agencies, local governments, nonprofits, and even employers.
Sarah qualified for a $7,500 grant that didn’t need to be repaid. The average benefit from these programs is approximately $17,000, significantly reducing the time needed to save for a down payment.
Combined with her $15,000 saved, she had $22,500 total for down payment and costs—enough to make 3.5% FHA work without emptying her entire savings account.
She still needed the sellers to contribute $5,500 toward closing costs—but she had a plan for how to frame this as enabling her to pay their asking price rather than asking for a discount.
4. Buyer Agent Commission (Post-NAR Settlement):
This was new territory. In August 2024, the National Association of Realtors’ $418 million settlement fundamentally changed how buyer agents are compensated. Sarah now had to sign a written buyer agreement before touring homes—but that agreement also made it crystal clear: agent fees are fully negotiable and not set by law.
The agreement required four key components:
Specific disclosure of compensation amount or rate
Objective compensation (not open-ended like “whatever the seller offers”)
A cap preventing the agent from receiving more than the agreed amount
A clear statement that fees are negotiable
Standard in her market: 2.5% ($9,875 on a $395,000 home)
Sarah negotiated: 2.0% ($7,900)
Saved: $1,975—money she kept in reserve for moving costs
Her agent agreed because Sarah was serious, pre-approved, and ready to buy. The reduced commission was worth it for a certain transaction. The NAR settlement gave Sarah the framework to have this conversation—most buyers don’t even know it’s possible.
What her research revealed: The sellers were more afraid of being homeless than they were focused on getting the highest price. If Sarah could solve their fear, she could win without offering the most money.
EXCHANGE: She Built Rapport
Sarah did something most buyers skip in multiple-offer situations: She wrote a personal letter.
Not manipulative. Not over-emotional. Just honest.
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Chen,
I’m writing to introduce myself as a potential buyer for your home at 47 Maple Street.
I’m a 28-year-old marketing coordinator, and I’ve been renting in the area for four years. This would be my first home purchase.
I walked through your house twice, and both times I kept imagining: This is where I’d put my bookshelf. This is where I’d have morning coffee. This is where I’d host my family for holidays.
I can tell you’ve loved this home. I can see it in the care you’ve taken with the garden, the quality of the updates, the way the rooms flow together.
I promise to take care of it the way you have. This isn’t just an investment property for me—it’s where I’m building my life.
My offer is attached. I hope we can work together.
With gratitude,
Sarah M.
What this letter did: It made Sarah a person, not just an offer number.
In a stack of competing bids, the Chens would remember her.
PROPOSE: She Structured a Winning Offer
Sarah didn’t offer the highest price. But she offered the most attractive complete package.
SARAH’S OFFER:
Purchase Price: $398,000
(Not the highest, but competitive)
The Key Differentiator - Timeline Flexibility:
60-day close with flexible possession date
Here’s how it worked:
Most buyers wanted fast closes (30-45 days) with immediate move-in
Cash buyer wanted 30-day close
The Chens needed at least 60 days to coordinate finding their condo
Sarah offered: “We can close in 60 days, and I’m flexible on possession if you need a few extra weeks”
This gave them breathing room to find their next place without panic
Why this mattered:
Sarah stayed in her rental apartment 30 extra days (cost: $1,800)
But she secured the house without having to be the highest bidder
The Chens got time and peace of mind—worth more to them than $7,000 extra in price
Down Payment: 3.5% FHA ($13,930)
Plus $7,500 first-time buyer grant = $21,430 total
Closing Timeline: 60 days
(Longer than standard 30-45, but exactly what the sellers needed)
Seller Concessions: $5,500 toward closing costs
(She needed this to close, framed as enabling her to pay asking price)
Buyer Agent Commission: 2.0% (reduced from 2.5%)
(Saved her $1,975—money she kept in reserve)
Contingencies:
Inspection: Yes, but she pre-ordered it during escrow (moved fast)
Financing: Yes, but pre-approved (showed proof)
Appraisal: Yes, with appraisal gap coverage up to $5,000 (showed commitment)
Personal Letter: Attached
Why This Offer Won:
✓ Timeline flexibility solved their biggest stress (60 days gave them room to coordinate)
✓ Cost Sarah just $1,800 (one extra month of rent while waiting to close)
✓ Eliminated sellers’ fear (they wouldn’t be caught between homes)
✓ Certainty (pre-approved, moved fast on inspection)
✓ Personal connection (letter showed she’d love the home)
✓ Commitment (appraisal gap coverage showed she was serious)
✓ Competitive price (not lowest, but fair at $398K)
The Competing Offers
Later, Sarah’s agent told her what she was up against:
Offer 1: $405,000, all cash, 30-day close, immediate possession
Offer 2: $402,000, conventional loan, 45-day close
Offer 3: $400,000, conventional loan, inspection waived
Offer 4 (Sarah): $398,000, FHA loan, 60-day close with flexible possession, personal letter
The cash offer was $7,000 higher. But it demanded a fast 30-day close—exactly what stressed the sellers out.
Sarah’s offer was $7,000 lower. But it gave them 60 days plus flexibility—exactly what they needed.
Sarah’s offer was $7,000 lower than the highest bid.
But she was the only one who solved the sellers’ actual problem.
The sellers chose Sarah anyway.
Why Sarah Won
What the sellers told her agent:
“The cash buyer wanted to close in 30 days, and we haven’t found our condo yet. We were stressed about the timing. The $402,000 offer was tempting, but they also wanted a fast close.
Sarah’s offer gave us exactly what we needed: we get our money, but we have 60 days to find the right place without panic. That breathing room is worth more to us than an extra $7,000.
Plus, her letter showed she’ll love this home the way we have. We’d rather take $398,000 from someone who solves our problem and will take care of our home than $405,000 from someone who treats us like a transaction.”
Sarah won because she saw what other buyers didn’t: The sellers’ biggest problem wasn’t price—it was fear.
She couldn’t offer the most money. But she could offer peace of mind. And that was priceless.
What Sarah Saved
Let’s do the math on what The PREP Framework™ saved Sarah:
Compared to her first lost bid:
First house offer: Would have paid $400,000+
Second house purchase: $398,000
Saved: $2,000+ in purchase price
Down payment she thought she needed:
Believed she needed 20% = $80,000 saved
Actually used: 3.5% + grant = $21,430
Savings acceleration: Bought 6 years earlier
Seller concessions:
Negotiated: $5,500 toward closing costs
Would have paid: Full closing costs
Saved: $5,500
Buyer agent commission reduction:
Standard: 2.5% = $9,875
Negotiated: 2.0% = $7,900
Saved: $1,975
Effective savings compared to her “Plan A”:
Purchase price: $2,000
Seller concessions: $5,500
Agent commission: $1,975
Avoided 6 years of rent at $1,800/month: $129,600
Total value created: $139,075
But the real value? Sarah became a homeowner at 28 instead of 34.
Six years of equity building. Six years of wealth creation. Six years of not paying someone else’s mortgage.
That’s the power of negotiating on terms instead of price.
The Five Lessons
1. Solve the seller’s real problem, not the obvious one
The obvious problem: The sellers wanted to sell their house.
The real problem: They were stressed about coordinating the timing and didn’t want to be caught between homes.
Sarah’s timeline flexibility cost her just $1,800 (one extra month of rent) but gave the sellers priceless peace of mind. In a multiple-offer situation, understanding what the seller actually needs gives you an edge that money alone can’t buy.
2. You don’t need 20% down
Sarah used 3.5% FHA + $7,500 grant. Total out-of-pocket: $13,930 to buy a $398,000 home. The 20% myth keeps people renting for years while home prices climb.
3. Terms can beat price
Timeline flexibility, waiving contingencies strategically, offering appraisal gap coverage, accepting longer escrows—these terms can make your offer more attractive without spending more money. Sarah won with the second-lowest price because she competed on terms.
4. Personal connection still matters
That offer letter made Sarah a person, not just a number. In a stack of competing bids, sellers remember the human story. They choose people they trust—especially when those people solve their problems.
5. Everything’s negotiable—even in bidding wars
Buyer agent commission. Closing timeline. Contingency periods. Seller concessions. Possession dates. Sarah negotiated all of it. The first time she lost because she only competed on price. The second time she won because she competed on everything else.
Sarah Today
Sarah has been in her home for eight months now. She loves it.
Her mortgage payment (including insurance and taxes): $2,650/month
Her old rent: $1,800/month
Extra monthly cost: $850
But:
She’s building $600+/month in equity
She’s getting tax deductions
Her housing cost is fixed (rent was increasing 5-7%/year)
In 10 years, she’ll have built $100,000+ in equity
She owns an appreciating asset
Most importantly: She’s not waiting six more years to start building wealth.
She’s hosting friends for dinner in that kitchen. Reading on that back deck. Building a life in a home she owns.
“I thought I had to play by everyone else’s rules,” she told me recently. “I thought the highest bid always wins. I thought I needed $80,000 saved. I thought everything was about price.
Losing that first house was devastating—but it taught me to ask different questions. Not ‘How much can I offer?’ but ‘What problem does the seller actually need solved?’
The Chens didn’t need $7,000 more. They needed time to coordinate their move without stress. I couldn’t give them the most money, but I could give them the timeline flexibility they desperately needed. That was worth more.”
Everything’s negotiable. Even bidding wars.
Sarah’s Resource List
Want to replicate Sarah’s success? Here’s what she used:
Down Payment Assistance:
Down Payment Resource - Found her $7,500 grant
Market Research:
HUD Fair Market Rent data
Zillow and Apartments.com for comparables
Pre-Approval:
Shopped 3 lenders for best rates
Got pre-approved 60 days before house hunting
Had all documentation ready
💡 Prefer to listen? This story is featured in Women + Real Estate podcast, Episode 5: Sarah’s Story [Listen on Spotify →]
Current Market Context
Mortgage Rates (weekly averages as of 02/05/2026)
30-Year Fixed: 6.11% ↑
15-Year Fixed: 5.50% ↑
What Happened This Week:
Rates ticked up slightly—just 1 basis point on the 30-year—after several weeks of stability. The 30-year fixed-rate mortgage has hovered near its lowest level in years, remaining below 6.2% for most of January and early February.
Market Impact:
Freddie Mac notes that “the combination of improving affordability and availability of homes to purchase is a positive sign for buyers and sellers heading into the spring home sales season.” Economists expect rates to remain stable in the low 6% range through February as inventory continues to improve.
Action Items:
→ Buyers: This is still a favorable window compared to late 2023-early 2024 when rates were above 7%. If you’ve been sitting on the sidelines, spring market starts in March—get pre-approved now so you’re ready when inventory increases.
→ Refinancing: Still not advantageous for most homeowners who bought in 2020-2022 (rates were 3-4%). Only consider if you bought in late 2023-2024 at 7%+ and can save at least 0.75-1.0%.
→ Sellers: Spring selling season is approaching. Rates stabilizing near 6% means more buyers can afford to purchase—if you’re planning to list, start staging and prep work now. Multiple-offer situations remain common in competitive neighborhoods.
Up Next: First-Time Homebuyer Resources Guide
I’m publishing a comprehensive First-Time Homebuyer Resources Guide with every calculator, program, and tool you need—organized by category and linked directly.
Subscribe so you don’t miss it.
Launching Soon - The Offer: Everything’s Negotiable™
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Eve Moss
Founder, Women + Real Estate™
womenplusrealestate.com
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See you next week,
Eve
P.S. Sarah’s appraisal came in at $402,000—$4,000 higher than her purchase price. She bought $4,000 below market value on day one, avoided 6 years of rent, and beat offers that were $7,000 higher. That’s what happens when you compete on terms instead of price.
Thank you for being here. Everything’s negotiable.
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Disclaimer: Bidding strategies, offer structures, and contract terms vary by state, local custom, and market conditions. What works in a buyer’s market differs from a seller’s market. Mortgage products, down payment requirements, and lending standards change. The strategies described worked in one specific situation but may not be effective or appropriate in your market. Always work with licensed real estate agents, mortgage professionals, and attorneys familiar with your local market and laws.
Legal Notice: The PREP Framework™ and Everything’s Negotiable™ are trademarks of Chavah Media Ltd. | Women + Real Estate. All rights reserved.
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